


Let the Wookie Win

by one_more_offbeat_anthem



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anyways, C-3PO - Freeform, Castiel and Dean Winchester Being Idiots, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Fluff, Hunters & Hunting, Star Wars - Freeform, Vampires, dean being a geek, this is....the dumbest thing I have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26077933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/one_more_offbeat_anthem/pseuds/one_more_offbeat_anthem
Summary: After Dean cajoles Cas into watching Star Wars with him, Cas is unamused at being compared to C-3PO. Hijinks ensue.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	Let the Wookie Win

**Author's Note:**

> if you’ve seen episode 1.7 of Star Trek Next Generation, where Data reads about Sherlock Holmes and cluelessly imitates him….I realized how much Cas acts like Data. And that led me to Cas acting like C-3PO, since I’m more of a Star Wars fan than a Trekkie. So! 
> 
> this is very dumb pls enjoy?

“What’d ya think?” Dean asked, turning off the television and yawning, “Good, or what?”

“I don’t understand the value of consuming over eight hours of media that involved fictional space shoot-outs,” Cas replied, “Although you seemed to enjoy the experience.”

Dean stared at Cas incredulously, “I just showed you the original _Star Wars_ trilogy and all you can say is _that_? You know who you remind me of?”

“…..Who?”

“C-3PO.”

“But C-3PO’s not a who, he’s a what,” Cas replied, “He’s a droid. I’m an actual entity, a being!”

“ _Don't you call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease!_ ” Dean quoted from _A New Hope_ , before standing up, “Face it, buddy—you might be a robot or a droid or whatever.”

“I’m not—I’m a—“ Cas spluttered, but Dean had already left the room, presumably to go to bed, and Cas was left alone with his thoughts.

Droids didn’t think, right?

*****

The next morning, Cas’s mood hadn’t improved. He had spent his night cataloging what sorts of things about him might be droid-like.

For one, he didn’t need to sleep.

“How are ya, Cas?” Dean asked, yawning slightly as he grabbed some coffee, “Sleep well?”

“I don’t sleep, Dean. You know that.”

“And I was making a joke. Surely you know that.”

Cas rolled his eyes, “What’s up for today?”

“More research.”

“Do you and Sam need my help?”

“You betcha.” Dean left the room, tousling Cas’s hair on the way out.

Cas sighed and put his head down on the table.

Surely droids didn’t have feelings the way he felt about Dean—even when Dean was being annoying.

Right?

*****

Dean spent the next month or so infuriating Cas as much as possible by continually comparing him to the golden droid, and attempting to goad him into watching the other films in the franchise. Eventually, Cas lost it and Dean left the room with a sullen, “Well, if you didn’t want to hang out with me, you could have just said so.”

Now, they were on a hunt, at a diner, and Cas was staring dully into space, half-listening to Dean and Sam argue about salad. It was an argument they had been having for years—most of the brothers’ arguments were like that—and so he usually tuned them out. 

“What do you think about salad, Cas?” Dean asked, pulling him back into the moment.

“You know I can’t taste things.”

“What about from when you were human?”

Cas shrugged, “Salad was…okay. I liked it better when there were more things in it. And dressing.”

“See?” Sam said, “I win!”

Dean still refused to eat anything healthy, and still ordered pie at the end of the meal.

*****

They were supposed to go to some abandoned hospital the next day to kill some vampires (at least, that’s what Dean said, and Sam agreed), and so Cas decided to mediate in the chair in Dean and Sam’s motel room. It had taken about ten minutes to convince Dean that he wasn’t going to just watch him while he slept, but eventually things were settled.

A few hours later, in the dead of night, Cas wished that he _had_ watched the brothers, because he was suddenly startled from his zoned-out state by a scream.

Instinctively, Cas flicked the lights on, drawing out his blade. Sam was crumpled to the ground, and Dean had leapt out of bed, in his pajamas, and was brandishing his gun. There were several vampires.

The struggle was fierce and swift, owing mostly to the fact that Cas was an angel and could just, well, sort of explode the vampires. The bigger problem was the one that Dean had been tussling with since Cas had “awoken.” If Cas touched him now, he risked sort-of exploding Dean, and all of Dean’s struggling was making the vampire just hold on to the hunter tighter, which wasn’t helping.

Cas sighed. He knew the solution, but not how to tell Dean without telling the vampire, too.

And without embarrassing himself.

Oh well.

“I suggest a new strategy, Dean,” he said seriously.

Dean glared at him, gritting his teeth, “No shit, Cas. Whaddya got?”

“Let the wookie win.”

Dean stared at Cas in surprise, and then went limp. The vampire’s grip on the hunter slacked as a result, which gave Cas enough leverage to grab its arm and press his palm to its head.

There was a blinding light that had accompanied the demise of the others, and then it was just Sam on the floor and Dean, rubbing his arm slightly, in the room with Cas.

“Hey,” Dean said, “Good one. Not so mad about C-3PO anymore?”

Cas shrugged.

*****

After Sam was healed, they were all too worked up to rest more, and so they plowed on over to the hospital to “kick more vampire ass,” as Dean phrased it, before heading back to the bunker.

“Hey,” Dean said, walking past Cas’s room on the way to the bathroom, “What do you say to maybe watching the prequel trilogy with me? You could learn C-3PO’s origin story.”

Cas shrugged, “Why not?”

(As it turned out, Dean was quite pleased with Cas’s usage of Star Wars references.)

(Pleased enough that they maybe didn’t completely watch the movies.)

(But that’s no one else’s business.)

(Although Cas is _certain_ that droids can’t kiss people.)


End file.
